I'm still here. I haven't had much time for sketching. Life has taken me in different directions but I do want to get back to it. Lately, I've been concentrating on performing Shakespeare. I attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London last summer and after returning home I auditioned for a local production of Merry Wives and was cast. If I promise to start sketching again soon, will you forgive me?

Stalling, and I know it

Four persimmons in a bowler hat (using whatever paint I had on my palette, and some dried ink)

Life is so crazy right now.
I'm just too busy.
First I need to fix (blank).


All excuses I've used in my efforts to sabotage myself. I was selling the occasional matted bit of work, some abstract, some representational, some done from photos, some in situ. Then I hit a wall--I sort of lost my motivation. What happened, I wondered.

I began comparing my life to the lives of others, for one, and this made me a bit depressed. I had interviewed for a few jobs that I was overqualified for, only to not be offered them. I began to feel like my professional career was crashing, and probably was feeling guilty about enjoying a nice sketch, or making any money at it (any real money) so I stopped.

I was also hearing from very close (well-meaning) friends that I should be living a creative life, and making a living from my creativity, not in the profession in which I've focused so much effort. I have to admit that this hurt my feelings a bit each time I heard it. What I was hearing was a devaluation of what I do for a living, and that I would be better at something else.

I'm a damned good nurse. A smart nurse. A thinking nurse. I'm the nurse you want taking care of someone you love. I like to paint and sketch, and I was a damned good architect, too--but I was selling maybe $50 a month in sketches. Every time someone said I should go do that, what I heard was "you suck at nursing, and that's why no one is hiring you." They meant well, but I was questioning my self-worth, and they were inadvertently reinforcing my self-doubts.

It's been a rough year--but finally I have a job lined up, and I'm waiting to hear when my orientation will be.

I have taken my desires to start up again and channeled them into the alchemy and organization related to the perfect sketch kit and supplies.

I'm intrigued by stories of Renaissance painters and how they ground their own pigments. I've pulled every book off my shelf and researched methods and materials, and spent countless hours experimenting with different alternative art supplies.

Here is the result of several messy attempts at "paint"made from natural items--left to right: coffee, wine, Turmeric, green tea (Argentine Mate--pronounced "MAH-teh")

I started with distilled water and gum arabic, soaked and disolved, then strained into a small jar. In several other small jars, I collected concentrated coffee (the fine bits at the bottom of the french pot after straining out the grounds) and the tea was a similar process of steeping the very fine particles that sifted through a very fine strainer, the wine was collected from the bottom of the bottle (the dreggy bits) of a nice robust Zinfandel. The turmeric was simmered in distilled water and strained.

I then added the gum arabic solution to the mixtures and poured them into the empty half pans. Over a couple of days, the mixtures dried and concentrated themselves (as the distilled water evaporated) and I added a bit more gum arabic and pigment to the pans to top them off.

I tried them out last week, and have to admit that the turmeric was the most bold--at the time, it seemed like it was bright and wonderful.

But today, the more filtered, strained turmeric leaves me less than impressed, so I guess it's back to the ol' drawing board for that one. The wine has gotten more concentrated, and the Yerba Mate is browner than I imagined it would be (like a burnt umber) and I was expecting a more blueish tinted green, as when it oxidizes in my cup.

The wine color did not oxidize as much with the gum arabic, but retained some reddish hue, rather than the purple of the older sample (just wine, no gum arabic) And I've given up on the onion skins, as the color was too faint to be worth the effort, and too similar to the turmeric, blended with more water (the previous turmeric!)

I will keep at it. In the mean time, here's a couple pages of my sketchbook, mostly trying more paints and brushes that I've dug out of hiding, planning some sketching kits, using old makeup containers, etc.

Artpal shop now open for biz-ness :)

After a moderate success on ebay, they started charging me listing fees, which, given the gamble of actually selling (paired with the fact that I can't predict what people like and buy) I can't risk--they already get 10% of the sale as Ebay, and another 3% or something as Paypal (which they also own!)

So while looking for actual exhibition space to do a show (hah, you and every OTHER bay area artist!) I came across the artpal website--they only take 35 (or is it 3.5?) but also allow downloads for people willing to pay for a digital download of your work--kinda cool (I currently don't offer this, because I don't have good-enough resolution images.)

So, I'm listing slowly here--because there's a lot more to the listings than on ebay and it takes a little longer--check it out if you're interested :)

I should also explain that back when I started producing art-for-sale, rather than personal enjoyment, I decided to start painting under a pseudonym. My best friend used to call me Mika (after Mika Haakinen, the race car driver...possibly a commentary on how I drive?) so I took up that moniker, and like Banksy, I keep using it. I'm sort of stuck with it now. Somehow, I found this alter-ego personality to be freeing; I didn't have to worry about anyone judging me or what they thought of my work--so I paint and sign Mika now, and have since the year 2000.

Check out the ARTPAL website here!

Add to the "soon to be on Ebay" pile

I have been cleaning house, and listing everything on ebay that I don't use, or want anymore.
This includes my old sketches.

Why do I keep these things? I have become the greatest collector of my own art, as they say you should never be. So, in an effort to get off my butt, and START taking myself seriously as an artist, I thought--what better way than to clear my sketchbooks and walls of some of my own work?

Letting go is a difficult lesson. Either I really like the way something turned out and I can't part with it, or it's not great, and therefor, unworthy of being given or sold to anyone. What I'm actually doing is paralyzing myself this way--by parting with the stuff I love, I am saying that it was not a fluke that the work turned out well; that I AM in fact, a good artist. By letting go of the stuff I don't think is perfect, I'm releasing my self-criticism and allowing others to judge if they like the work or not.

Surprisingly, I can't predict what is going to sell, or not--I've been wrong about what people like. The lesson I've learned is that everyone has their own taste, and will find what's right for them--and that's better than my own preconceived notions about "good" and "bad" or "less good."

Here are some new pieces I'm going to be matting and listing soon:

This is a negative space drawing of my two favorite teapots--sort of like the way the pen was running dry and gives some texture to the drawing.

This is a quick sketch I did of Le Corbusier's Carpenters' Center. SOLD ON EBAY Click here to see more images of the Carpenters' center at Harvard.

The Villa Savoye by Le Corbusier, again. Click here to see more images of The Villa Savoye in Poissy, France.

The Ronchamp monestary by Le Corbusier--what an architect he was! Click here to see more images of Ronchamp



Why am I posting all of these? Because of guilt, mainly. I know the Urban Sketchers only like representational works, and lately I've found an audience selling abstract expressionistic pieces on ebay. I didn't want to disappoint them and make them think I wasn't one of them ;)



Here's some more representation, examples of stuff I don't love:

The Duomo in Florence--I didn't like this rushed sketch, but I will mat it and maybe work on it a little bit more. I don't like to work on stuff after the fact, because I feel like I'm working on stuff in a way to fix mistakes, or drawing what I wanted to see, not what I actuallly saw. I know a lot of artists don't have a problem with finishing stuff later on int he studio, but I always sort of feel bad doing it, or like I'm just cheating.

This was done VERY quickly, on the traghetto on the way to one of the islands of Venice. I didn't like the colors; it was a very dark day and about to rain...somehow, I always choose to represent things EXACTLY rather than embellish and get the gist of things...then I hate the way things turn out, so why don't I start out with an editing eye? I don't know...I'm learning this just now.

I hated this one when I did it--I forget where I was but I never feel "free" sketching indoors--too many eyeballs on my work and I focus away from what I'm doing and on the fact that someone is looking over my shoulder. I used to have a teacher that had "you may look, but talking is going to cost you" or something like that, written on his watercolor sketch board. He felt that distractions took him out of his "zone" and I now get it. We don't walk up to anyone else, in any profession and feel free to stare at them and what they're doing, and then talk to them, why do we do it to artists? "excuse me officer...I notice that the crime scene tape is put up at about 3' height off the ground...why is that?" Or "Chef, I notice you put the oregano in just after the onions have become transluscent...why is that?" Or even better "doctor, I notice you're using a retractor instead of getting your assistant to hold this part of the greater omentum out of your surgical field...can you tell me why this is so?"

Of course, this is ridiculous--artists aren't Peace officers, Chefs or surgeons, but still, it's an odd observation that we feel artist can and should be interrupted while they work. So, getting back to what I was saying--I wasn't happy with this because I was being distracted a lot, and I never finished it, or did a slap-fast job on getting most of the idea down so I could move on. (*to somewhere less trafficked, I would imagine!) Thanks for checking out my post :) I hope you liked it.

Blessings

I'm lucky enough that I have so many supportive friends and family, but lately, I posted dozens of doodles on ebay to raise some cash to help pay my Ivy-League student loan debt this month while I try to find a new job--the old one was killing me, and I had to leave asap. (* a funny aside, I just got a class action notice that the nurses are suing the hospital for the exact time frame in which I was employed, for not providing breaks, for not providing lunches, and for disturbing us on our lunch breaks when we DID get them...so I thought that was interesting.)

Anyway, I'm working on the redesign of my contact card today, complete with QR code to this blog :) but I wanted to share what I was so lucky to have sold--actual people who think my doodles are worth their hard-earned.

I was sorting through an old sketch book and pulled out a few old sketches from architecture school that I'll mat and list soon, as well. If anything, this has motivated me to be less shy about my work, and more willing to let it go.

A friend told me I was way underpricing my work, which is ok, because it's selling in volume. I will probably slow way down once I start working again. I'm waiting to hear from one hospital this week; keep your fingers crossed for me!

Getting paid to Art

One of my resolutions this year was to make and sell more art. I actually wrote it down in my moleskine. I've made a few things, sketched a few things, but the selling has been hard. This blog is difficult for me, because I'm fairly shy; I know talent when I see it--in my architecture studies, and career, there were things that turned out great, and others that were not so great. I looked around and saw the cool things my classmates were doing, and we learned from each other, and from our mistakes. My dad always used to say "Sbagliando s'impara!" which is Italian for "we learn by making mistakes" or we can only learn by doing, and then sitting back and wondering where things could have gone better; such is drawing, and art in general. So, this blog has been difficult for me in that I don't like showing my work--I know where the pen moved and shouldn't have, or I know where I wanted to go with it, and where it fell short. But, hey--sbagliando s'impara! I'm trying to relax and let go of the self-criticism, the shyness, what have you. Recently I've seen a bunch of things selling on etsy and ebay and thought, well...good on ya for putting it out there! So, my shelves and books are getting filled with things I make and do, and never anyone sees them. But no more--I just started selling stuff on ebay, at a modest price, but still it's something. I will show you what I've sold.

These all went to the same lovely person. They're matted with 100% acid free museum mat and ready to be framed. These are part of my abstract expressionist watercolor series. When I studied in Italy, one of the profs would have us listen to music, and just shut our minds off and doodle and explore--I got so into the habit of doing that before painting or sketching that I kept doing it--these are the result. I love the way this exercise frees up the mind and sort of gets you tuned into the media. Then I sold some art cards (small trading cards called ACEO)

Also sold, to a different ebayer--I've made 25 of these little buddha cards--they're so fun to make, I couldn't stop. Each one is different and embellished in ink pens for an individual look. That's it for now. I will keep listing stuff on ebay, since it's going well :)

I am an urban sketcher :)

I'm an urban sketcher
Yay! I'm official! :)